Coffee Time
Tuesday, August 03, 2004

You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When...

  • You answer the door before people knock.
  • You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
  • You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
  • You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
  • You sleep with your eyes open.
  • You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
  • The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
  • You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don'teven work there.
  • Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
  • You chew on other people's fingernails.
  • The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
  • You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
  • You can jump-start your car without cables.
  • You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
  • You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
  • People get dizzy just watching you.
  • You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
  • Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
  • Instant coffee takes too long.
  • You channel surf faster without a remote.
  • Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
  • You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
  • You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
  • You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
  • You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."
  • You get drunk just so you can sober up.
  • You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
  • You short out motion detectors.
  • You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
  • Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
  • You don't tan, you roast.
  • You don't get mad, you get steamed.
  • You help your dog chase its tail.
  • Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
  • Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

Jovianne ~ 10:34 AM


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