Waiting for Dawn 

3:30am
Waiting for the dawn, wondering if its too early to start the coffee..... probably is.
Been listening to music, playing stupid games on here, trying NOT to THINK! As soon as my head hits the pillows tho, my mind goes into overdrive on all the junk I am trying to not think about. Its been quiet out tonight... we were supposed to get thumderstorms, but they missed our area by several miles... I like storms. The winds, noises, cool rains.... often find me on my front porch as they approach, just listening. . . watching. . . waiting.
Maybe someday I will figure out what I might actually be waiting for.
Sometimes loneliness isnt all its cracked up to be, but its a small price to pay for piece of mind.

Ive got good dreams and goals,its just that the toll of the past 3 weeks of grief of what my son's dad is doing to my son, is really wearing me down. Sometimes I think you can try to do everything right,cover all areas, and still get kicked in the ass. My ass is pretty sore lately, the EX is kicking it a bit toooo much, and yes, I am aware that I am letting him, but its those dammed triggers of his. we were married long enough that he knows how to still set me off, and is better at it now than he was then. . . . And its not like I am letting him 'get me' on purpose. It just happens because I probably never truely got over the truama of our marriage in the first place.

I dont know. Maybe I should just make the coffee and go work with the books while its still cool enough to do so.

Incredible poetry and graphics:
.Belledora
Shayna's Pages
Poof Cat
Blue Eyes Place

|

Day 5 Countdown
24
24 Mini
24 Addict
24 HQ
KieferSutherland-24
24 Fanatics
24 Online
24 Inside
24 BBC
24 on Fox
Zone-24
4924CTU

BlueGreenEyes
Kiefer-Rocks
Kiefer Photo Gallery
West Virginia
Fairbanks House
Visit PA
`Believe`
Earth Mysteries
9/11 Tribute Building
Theme Scheme Radio
Jim Warren Studio
Jonathan Earl Bowser
King Authur
Deviant Art
Unicorn Graphics
Blue Eyes Place
Elite Skins
NYPD Blue
Law&Order SVU
Magical Fire Fantasy
Eros Applets
Dean Koontz
Today In Literature
National Academies
Neko The Kitty
Women.com
Webshots
Bubble Wrap
Worth 1000
Boxcar Whitey's
Bob's Links & Rants
Guinness Book of World Records
Montana Forum